Being in a relationship-centric business, and honestly just someone that values relationships in general, I always want to know how to better communicate with people and understand and respond to different perspectives.
At a retreat I attended in October we did an activity called "value mining." It involved studying a list of over 100 personal values (that were all good and important!) and picking out which meant the most to each of us. This is actually way harder than it sounds and takes personal reflection to decide what is truly the MOST sacred to you.
I started with putting little dots next to the ones that immediately spoke to me and then from there tried to circle my top five- to be honest, I was wishy-washy on my bottom two for three days. Super interesting!
What I’ve realized is that our values play heavily into our “why” as well. Why we do what we do is usually rooted in the things that matter most to us- right? It’s easy to see how MOST relationship conflict is value-based. Once you define these you can see how to design your priorities, your goals, your work-load- all the things. This is helping to establish the feelings that are actually fueling your actions and behaviors.
I searched high and low to get you the best list of values to choose from- but if you have one that isn’t on here- simply add it in. This is a great activity to do with people on your team, on your own, or even before a date night. I brought Eli a list before we went on a weekend getaway and it created a great conversation one night at dinner as we talked through this. It’s also helped me in the months that have a clearer understanding on his thought processes and decision-making … calling that a win.
Wanna know my values?
Wisdom
Vison
Security
Fun
Freedom
I’d love to know yours too! Click here for a printable to start mining for your own values see if it brings clarity to why you do what you do and even how conflict has come up in life when you felt like those were threatened.
Awareness is so important and brings so much to personal growth and perspective- excited to see what you get out of this!
